I used to think saying “no” was basically a crime. Like, if someone asked me to do something, I had to say yes. Otherwise, I was a bad daughter, a bad person, or just plain selfish. Sound familiar?
It took one major breaking point for me to realize that boundaries aren’t about shutting people out—they’re about keeping me in.
The Moment It Clicked
For years, I took on the role of my mother’s primary driver for her medical appointments. It wasn’t even a question—I just did it. No matter how exhausted I was, no matter how much my own body was screaming at me to rest, I pushed through. Because that’s what you do for family, right?
But over time, it became too much. My symptoms were flaring constantly, and every trip to another appointment left me more depleted. I wasn’t just tired—I was completely running on empty. When my dad retired last year and was finally able to take over most of her appointments, I felt an overwhelming wave of relief.
At first, I struggled with guilt. Shouldn’t I still be the one helping her? But the truth was, I couldn’t do it anymore—not without seriously hurting myself in the process. I still help when I can, but in a way that actually allows me to manage my symptoms. And you know what? That’s okay.
Now, I’ve also set boundaries around the asks that I receive from them. If I’m not feeling well, I say no. If I need more notice before committing to something, I make that clear. And surprisingly, they’ve respected it. But even if they didn’t, I would still stand on my boundaries because it’s what’s best for me. Because here’s the thing—when you start setting boundaries, you teach people how to treat you.
Boundaries Protect More Than Just Your Time
That experience taught me something huge: boundaries aren’t just about managing time; they protect your energy, your health, and your peace of mind. Saying no isn’t rejection—it’s self-respect. And the people who truly care about you will understand that.
When we set boundaries, we’re not being mean or selfish. We’re making sure we have enough energy to show up for what actually matters—our health, our passions, and the relationships that truly support us.
Let’s Talk About It
Have you ever struggled with setting a boundary and felt guilty about it? I’d love to hear your story—drop it in the comments or send me a message.
