Hands up if your January usually starts with a long list of “shoulds”: “I should exercise more, eat healthier, be more organized…” (My hand is so raised!). But if you’re living with a chronic illness, those well-intentioned resolutions can sometimes feel more overwhelming than inspiring. This year, let’s ditch the pressure and explore a gentler, more compassionate approach to setting goals. It’s time to start reframing resolutions!
Why Traditional Resolutions Don’t Work for Chronic Illness
Resolutions Demand Consistency
Traditional resolutions expect you to be on top of your game all year—working out every day, sticking to a strict routine. But for those of us with chronic illness, our energy and symptoms can change from one day to the next. One day, you might feel up to a light workout, and the next, just getting out of bed feels like climbing a mountain. I’ve tried making resolutions for years, but they never stick. And with my chronic illness flaring up more than when I was younger, the whole idea of setting resolutions just feels too overwhelming now.
Resolutions Ignore the Need for Rest
Most resolutions are all about “doing more”—pushing productivity, embracing the hustle—but they rarely leave space for the rest and recovery our bodies need. I’ve set deadlines before, telling myself I had to finish a project by a certain date, and then pushed myself to the limit when I really should’ve been resting. The result? A burnout that knocked me out for weeks.
All-or-Nothing Thinking Leads to Guilt
When it comes to resolutions, that all-or-nothing mindset is a killer. Whether it’s sticking to a diet or an exercise routine, if I slip up or miss a day, I end up feeling guilty. Then the negative thoughts creep in, telling me I’m not good enough. It turns into this vicious cycle of “I should be doing this” and “I can’t keep up,” and it makes me feel like I’m failing, even when I’m just being human.
Progress Isn’t Linear
With chronic illness, progress doesn’t look like a straight line. It’s full of highs and lows. You might make progress in one area, and then something else takes a step back. On the good days, it’s easier to feel like you’re moving forward, but then there are days when a flare-up leaves you completely wiped out. I’ve had times where I thought I was making real progress on a goal, only to wake up the next day in pain and completely drained. I have to keep reminding myself that progress isn’t linear—and that’s okay.
The Power of Intentions Over Resolutions
So, what exactly are intentions? They’re different from resolutions. Instead of setting rigid, perfection-driven goals, intentions are about focusing on the direction you want to go in, without the pressure to do it perfectly every time. They’re gentler, adaptable, and allow for setbacks without making you feel like a failure.
Intentions help you be kinder to yourself and give you permission to stop “should-ing” all over yourself. We’re all guilty of saying things like, “I should be doing more” or “I should be farther along.” But intentions take away that self-imposed pressure. They let you celebrate the small steps you can take, even if they’re not as big or as fast as you’d like. With intentions, progress is the win, not perfection.
Practical Steps to Reframe Resolutions
If you’re ready to ditch the pressure of traditional resolutions and try something that actually works with your life, here’s how to begin reframing resolutions:
Step 1: Reflect on What Truly Matters to You
Think about your values and priorities. What’s most important to you right now? Maybe it’s focusing on rest, spending more time with loved ones, or finding small moments of joy in your day. Start there—because when your intentions align with what you value, they’ll feel more meaningful and less like a chore.
Step 2: Set Small, Achievable Intentions
The key is to think small and realistic. Instead of aiming for something huge, try intentions like “rest more” or “celebrate small wins.” These are gentle goals that allow for progress without piling on stress.
Step 3: Break Intentions Into Manageable Actions
Once you’ve set your intentions, break them down into bite-sized steps. For example, if your intention is to “rest more,” your action might be scheduling a 15-minute break every afternoon or saying no to an extra commitment. If it’s “celebrate small wins,” maybe you start journaling once a week to reflect on your day and choosing at least one thing that went well that day.
Step 4: Embrace Flexibility
Life happens, and with chronic illness, we know things don’t always go as planned. Your intentions should work with you, not against you. Be okay with adapting them as needed—your energy, symptoms, and priorities might change, and that’s okay.
The steps above make the process about you and what you need, instead of forcing yourself into resolutions that don’t fit. This is how you go about reframing resolutions.
Examples of Chronic Illness-Friendly Intentions
Rest & Recovery
- Prioritize rest when my body needs it.
- Create space in my week for intentional downtime.
- Listen to my body and take breaks without guilt.
Self-Care
- Nourish my body with foods that feel good to me.
- Do one thing every day that brings me joy.
- Practice saying no to things that drain my energy.
Emotional Well-Being
- Celebrate even the smallest wins each week.
- Be kinder to myself when things don’t go as planned.
- Spend five minutes each day focusing on gratitude.
Connection
- Check in with a friend or loved one once a week.
- Share my needs and boundaries with the people in my life.
- Join a supportive community that understands chronic illness.
Personal Growth
- Read or listen to something inspiring once a month.
- Explore a creative outlet that makes me happy.
- Focus on progress, not perfection, in any goal I pursue.
Energy Management
- Plan one low-energy activity I can enjoy on bad days.
- Prioritize the most important task each day, and let the rest wait.
- Build in buffer time between activities to avoid burnout.
These intentions are all about making life a little easier and more enjoyable while keeping you aligned with your needs and capabilities.
Conclusion
So, here’s the takeaway: resolutions aren’t one-size-fits-all, especially when you’re managing a chronic illness. This year, let’s focus on reframing resolutions—ditching the guilt and pressure of the “shoulds” and embracing intentions that actually work with our lives, not against them. Remember, it’s not about doing everything perfectly—it’s about making small, meaningful choices that honor your needs and your energy. Progress, no matter how small, is still progress. You’re doing enough, and you are enough, exactly as you are. Let’s make this the year we show ourselves some grace.
