I’ve spent my whole life not loving myself. Not the way I did when I was a little girl, not the way I should love myself. I’ve struggled with my self-esteem, loving my body, who I am, and so much more. It’s been a difficult journey to get to where I am today. Part of that journey has included learning from my chronic illness.
I’ve always been a very independent, capable woman. I’ve prided myself on being able to manage my life and make things work. But in all of that, I’ve never been able to love myself the way I am learning to now. Chronic illness has a way of taking all of those things you have prided yourself on for years and bring them crashing down so you are only left with yourself and God and cannot rely on your body as you used to. This is what happened to me. So now that I can’t rely on myself physically, I am forced to learn what I really love about myself and use that to help on the bad days when I feel like a failure or like I’m a burden or not doing enough.
Over the last several years as my chronic illness has evolved and gotten worse, I’ve learned that I am more creative than I thought I was. I have started crochet and have created several pieces I am proud of. I’ve found my love for reading again and last year read 40 books. I’ve learned what my calling is for this time in my life and I started it. I’ve learned how resilient I am and how I can help others feel seen and heard in the middle of their struggles with chronic illness.
Chronic illness takes so much from us, but it can give us so much as well. How has your chronic illness helping you learn to love yourself?