Chronic illness is hard. It leaves us feeling down, depressed, exhausted beyond exhausted, anxious, and so much more. It can be hard to find the joy in our lives when we live with an invisible illness. There are days when I find it so hard to drag my mind out of the hole I am in. And those that placate us and tell us to “just be positive” is not helping, at least not for me. In this post, we will talk about how to find joy and gratitude with chronic illness.
I try to be positive, of course, but there are times, a lot more than I would like to admit, that being positive is impossible. In fact, you might here me say, “I’m positive I’m not happy right now.” For more about my quick coping mechanisms during the fall season we are currently in, The October Slide, check out this post.
So what is the difference between happiness, positivity, and joy?
Happiness is based on your circumstances. It is a fleeting emotion that can come and go. Positivity is a practice where you try to find the good/bright side of something, which is not always easy when your entire body is inflamed, hurts, and you are more exhausted than ever. Joy, on the other hand, is an attitude that defies your circumstances.
It is an internal state of being despite all your circumstances. Joy is based on faith in God. When I am in the middle of a horrible flare, I will not be happy and I will not be positive, but I will always have joy. I will always be able to know that there is an end to this flare and that even if I am never OK here on earth, I will be healed in heaven. It’s a choice I make every day to find joy.
How do I do that? How do I choose joy when I am not positive or happy? I find one thing to be grateful for that day.
Why Gratitude?
According to Lympha Press, “Regarding general physical health, one meta-analysis examined the findings of 64 research studies on gratitude and chronic illness. This review found that practicing gratitude may reduce indicators of inflammation and cardiovascular stress, as well as improve sleep. Some individuals even reported a decrease in perceived pain. Gratitude can also support social relationships and engagement.”1
In other words, practicing gratitude can be so powerful for those of us with chronic illnesses. It can help us shift our focus without downplaying how we are feeling or our symptoms.
Gratitude Action Steps
Start Small:
You don’t have to mark off a million things to be grateful for each day. It doesn’t even have to be one big thing. Simply think over your day and consider one thing you can be grateful for. Did you ask for help, take a shower? What about laughing while watching a tv show or movie? Did you spouse or significant other bring you your favorite drink or snack? Did you manage to go from the bed to the couch or your favorite chair?
Gratitude journal:
Our brains can be real negative, especially when we have lived in the negative for so long. Our brains can be liars. They can make us feel like nothing in our life is good, especially because we are sick. It can lead us down a very dark, dark path. I believe that writing down your one thing can help you build a list of things to prove to your brain that there is always at least one thing good in each day. You don’t even have to write a full sentence. You can simply write one or two words to remind yourself. This is, in my opinion, the best way to choose and find joy.
Join a Community:
Joining a community of people who are in your circumstances, whether in person or online, is a great way to find joy and gratitude. I’ve had really bad days and whenever I have posted my struggles, I have found compassion and gratitude for the community. I have also been able to find moments of joy for others who have had wins.
If you are looking for a community of like minded people, I want to encourage you to join The Invisible Illness Club newsletter, The Unseen Sisterhood, where you will find tips, support, and stories from others walking a similar path.
To join, simply click the image below.
