If you’ve ever rolled your eyes at gratitude lists, this episode is for you. Let’s talk about finding real, grounded gratitude — the kind that lives right alongside the hard stuff.
When life feels heavy, gratitude can feel fake. Let’s talk about finding real, grounded thankfulness in the middle of the mess.
What You’ll Learn
- Why “toxic gratitude” makes hard days harder
- The difference between pretending and practicing gratitude
- Gentle journal prompts for finding small joys
- How faith helps you hold gratitude and pain at the same time
Memorable Quotes
- “Gratitude doesn’t erase pain — it makes room for hope.”
- “It’s not about being thankful for the pain. It’s about noticing what still holds.”
- “You can be angry, tired, and grateful all at once.”
- “Gratitude doesn’t have to be loud — sometimes it’s a whisper: ‘I’m still here.’”
Key Scripture
“Give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.” — 1 Thessalonians 5:18 (NIV)
Reflection / Journal Prompt for the Week
What’s one small mercy you can thank God for today — even in the middle of what’s still hard?
One Tiny Step for the Week
Write down one moment each day that made you breathe easier, even for a second. That’s where real gratitude begins.
Resources
- The Rest Without Guilt Checklist – A simple, honest look at how to rest before you crash using a one-page checklist that helps you check in with your body, your mind, and your real capacity.
- The Joy Journal — A gentle guided journal with short prompts to help you rediscover joy one small moment at a time
Credits
Host: April Aramanda
Podcast: The Invisible Illness Club
Music: Audio Jungle
Learn more: theinvisibleillnessclub.com
TRANSCRIPTION
I used to roll my eyes at gratitude lists.
People would say, “Just write down three things you’re thankful for every day!” — and I’d think, Sure, Susan, I’ll get right on that… right after I figure out how to stop hurting long enough to shower.
When you’re living with chronic illness or just constant exhaustion, gratitude can feel… fake.
Like one more thing you’re supposed to do right to be a “positive” person.
So today, we’re going to talk about what it really means to find thanks in the mess.
Not the perfect moments — but the raw, real ones.
Because gratitude doesn’t have to be performative or pretty to be powerful.
I think a lot of us have been guilted into gratitude.
We hear things like,
“At least it’s not worse.”
“You should be thankful you even have doctors.”
“Other people have it harder.”
And while those statements might be true… they’re not helpful.
They shut down our real feelings instead of making space for them.
Gratitude becomes this mask we wear to hide pain — instead of a lens that helps us see light through it.
And that’s not what gratitude was meant to be.
Here’s what changed for me.
I realized that gratitude isn’t about denying what hurts — it’s about noticing what still holds.
It’s not:
“I’m so thankful for this pain.”
It’s:
“I’m thankful for the friend who checked on me while I was in pain.”
It’s not pretending everything’s fine.
It’s recognizing that something good still exists alongside the hard.
Some days, that “something good” is huge — a breakthrough, a moment of laughter, a bit of progress.
Other days, it’s small — like the warmth of a blanket or the fact that coffee exists.
And on the really bad days?
It might just be, “I made it through.”
And that counts.
This past week, I had one of those days where my body completely betrayed me.
The fatigue hit like a wall, and my to-do list went out the window.
But in the middle of that, my dog came and laid her head on my lap.
I looked around and realized — the world didn’t fall apart just because I stopped.
That was my gratitude moment.
Not shiny. Not Instagram-worthy.
Just real.
So maybe gratitude isn’t about feeling thankful all the time — maybe it’s about noticing small mercies that remind us we’re still held.
If gratitude feels hard for you right now, here are a few gentle prompts that help me reframe things:
- “What made today just a little bit easier?”
- “Who or what brought me comfort?”
- “What did I survive or get through?”
- “What do I want to thank my body for — even if it’s just showing up?”
These aren’t about forcing joy — they’re about making space for it.
Because gratitude doesn’t erase pain, but it does make room for hope.
If you’re a person of faith like me, you might wrestle with the idea of giving thanks “in all circumstances.”
I used to think that meant pretending everything was good.
But now I think it means trusting that God is still good, even when the circumstances aren’t.
It’s okay to be angry, tired, and grateful at the same time.
Those things can coexist.
Sometimes my prayer sounds less like, “Thank You for everything,” and more like, “Help me find one thing I can thank You for today.”
And that’s enough.
If gratitude feels out of reach right now, I want to remind you — it doesn’t have to look like a list of blessings.
It can just be a whisper: “There’s still something good here.”
Gratitude doesn’t have to be loud.
Sometimes it’s just breathing, noticing, and saying, “I’m still here.”