Virtual assistant agency owner Stephanie Boyle shares how living with multiple sclerosis reshaped her work, motherhood, and mindset. We dig into boundaries without guilt, pacing work with alarms and self-check questions, co-parenting through flares, and starting a business small (on your body’s timeline). This one’s a masterclass in honoring limits without losing your ambition in chronic illness entrepreneurship.

Key Topics

• The schedule that listens: using alarms and self-check prompts to pace work with MS
• Boundaries that stick (and why “no” often becomes a better “yes” later)
• Recovering people-pleasing: serving well without self-abandonment
• Parenting in a flare: resilience, honest language with kids, and asking for help
• Building a values-first business: starting with one client and growing sustainably
• Finding your people: support systems that celebrate your “no”
• Faith as a trust fall—releasing what you can’t control

Highlights & Takeaways

• “If I don’t take care of myself, I can’t please others.”
• Set expectations early: deadlines met, but on a spoon-friendly schedule.
• When guilt creeps in, remember a past boundary you kept—and how light you felt afterward.
• Compare less. Chronic illnesses—and capacities—are different in every body.
• Start small in business. Five hours a week can become forty.
• Choose community that congratulates your boundaries.

Quotable Moments

• “My faith is a trust fall. I’m trusting God will catch me.” — Stephanie Boyle
• “Hustle culture won’t get you there faster when your body needs slow.” — April Aramanda

Connect with Stephanie

• Work with By Friday
• Say hi on social:
  • Instagram: finished_byfriday
  • Facebook: assistancebyfriday

Connect with April / The Invisible Illness Club

• Newsletter: The Unseen Sisterhood
• Social Media:
  • Instagram: the_invisibleillnessclub
  • TikTok: theinvisibleillnessclub
• Need ops help? Tell Stephanie April sent you 💌

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Transcription

April Aramanda: Stephanie, I am so glad that you’re here. For listeners who may not know you yet, can you share a little bit about you and what you do at Finish by Friday and what inspired you to start that

Stephanie Boyle: Yeah, absolutely. I am so so happy to be here, April. Thank you for having me. Um, by Friday is a is the child of me wanting to be both a stay-at-home mom and a CEO. And so, I created um what is an administrative assistant business. We work for small businesses and solo entrepreneurs um giving them back their time. Basically, we work behind the scenes doing scheduling, email management, um any sort of operations direction that their company needs. Um we supply that for them. And um and it gives me and my employees an opportunity to still be home to get our kids off the bus, but um working as well to keep our brains moving.

April Aramanda: That’s awesome. And we’ve had a conversation about doing this for my business down the road. And I’ll tell you guys, she’s she’s on top of it. her and her her her peeps are on top of it because the stuff that she was going to is going to do for me one day, including things that she came up with in the process, I was like, “Yeah, that’s perfect.” So, definitely take a look at by Friday because I think you’re going to want to work with this company. The idea that you have that mission of helping single moms is a huge thing, especially to me because I was a single mom for 17 years.

Stephanie Boyle: Mhm.

April Aramanda: And it is a lot and it is hard to work outside of the house being a single mom because you do miss everything.

Stephanie Boyle: Yeah. Mhm.

April Aramanda: And so the idea that you employ people who are single mothers, giving them an opportunity to actually be able to go to all of these events that their children have be at home to take them off the bus, be able to cook them dinner instead of buying it on the way home too many times um is just an amazing thing.

Stephanie Boyle: Yeah. Same

April Aramanda: So I definitely appreciate it and I know a lot of women out there who probably will as well. But you have also shared that living with chronic illness because we’re going to talk chronic illness mostly has pushed you to think outside the box. So what does that mean to you? How do you think outside the box?

Stephanie Boyle: Um, so what that means to me is really an understanding and and setting up my um my company and my relationships to have the um sorry go back to understand but to have them understand like what it means for me, what functioning through the day means for me. Sometimes it means that I can work eight straight hours without getting up from my desk. Sometimes it means that I work 20 minutes and then I go lay down and then I go have a snack and then I work for another hour. And setting those expectations up early and making sure that everybody that is in my circle, is in my sphere understands that I’m always going to show up.

Stephanie Boyle: I’m just going to show up kind of on my own time. You know, your deadlines are always met, but they may not be met, you know, when you think they’re going to be done.

April Aramanda: Yeah.

Stephanie Boyle: You may think that I’m going to be working at noon on a Tuesday, but it may be midnight on a Sunday. And um that’s just for my schedule.

April Aramanda: Right.

Stephanie Boyle: I mean, we were just talking about sometimes I’m working at 2 a.m. because I can’t sleep and the best thing to do is to work it work through it.

April Aramanda: Yes.

Stephanie Boyle: Um, so, so having that expectation and um and having my clients not only understand it, but they embrace it. They love that because they know that my boundaries are set.

April Aramanda: Yeah.

Stephanie Boyle: They know that when they ask me to do something, I’m not going to push myself past my limitations. I’m going to say yes or no. Yes, I absolutely can do that and I can do it by tomorrow or no, you know what?

Stephanie Boyle: I just don’t have the capacity right now. And so they know they can always they can always trust my word.

April Aramanda: Right. And so what chronic illnesses do you have that what you live with?

Stephanie Boyle: Yeah. Um so I have multiple sclerosis. Um I have always struggled as well with anxiety and depression and I’ve been you know battling with um with those kinds of things which kind of comes with the changes in life that um that happen when you’re a

April Aramanda: Yes.

Stephanie Boyle: single parent and and going through all of that. But um but I was diagnosed with multiple sclerosis in 2012. Um I was um I was actually hit by a car as a pedestrian and it kickstarted my whole body to say wait no there’s lots of things wrong.

April Aramanda: Wow.

Stephanie Boyle: Um so yeah so that was um and that was you know not you know not in my bingo card. It was not in my plan. Again I had I had plans to be you know a CEO run a company someday be all of this in a bag of chips and um and having that thrown at me and be like no actually you have to go at turtle speed.

Stephanie Boyle: you have to, you know, take your time and you don’t have enough spoons to to do what, you know, person B or C can do.

April Aramanda: Yeah. Right.

Stephanie Boyle: Um, so, um, so that was the eye opening for me. And then, um, when I when I got pregnant, I was told that, um, MS goes into remission when you get pregnant. It’s the best nine months of your life. You’re going to love it. It’s going to be great. You’re going to be so happy.

April Aramanda: I’ve heard that. Yeah.

Stephanie Boyle: You’re gonna want to be pregnant forever. Um, that is not what happened to me.

April Aramanda: Oh, no.

Stephanie Boyle: Um, turns out that I also was um diagnosed during my pregnancy with HG um hypereamis and I um was throwing up every five minutes for the entirety of the nine months.

April Aramanda: Wow.

Stephanie Boyle: So um in addition to losing 50 lbs, I was blind and I was in a wheelchair and um that was probably the moment when I was just like, okay, life is not normal for me.

Stephanie Boyle: Life is not going to go the way that people tell me that it’s going to go.

April Aramanda: All right.

Stephanie Boyle: Um, and so that was when I was starting to think outside the box. I said, “Okay, I still have a brain functioning in here. I still have, you know, the the the motivation to be something in this world. I can’t just collect my disability and and live at my parents house forever. That’s not an option.” Um, so that was that was when I I decided that I had to figure out what else to do.

April Aramanda: Right.

Stephanie Boyle: And that’s where by Friday came from.

April Aramanda: Wow. That’s a crazy journey into MS.

Stephanie Boyle: Yeah. Yep.

April Aramanda: At least it was an unmistakable diagnosis um for you because of everything that happened. It kind of just came about and there it is.

Stephanie Boyle: Yeah, that’s something that I’m Okay, I was going to say that’s something that I’m incredibly thankful for.

April Aramanda: Wow. So living with Go ahead.

Stephanie Boyle: I know a lot of people on their chronic journey, their chronic illness journey, they have misdiagnoses and you know, so and so doctors that don’t trust or don’t listen or don’t follow through.

April Aramanda: Yes.

Stephanie Boyle: I was incredibly incredibly lucky that it was But right away it was basically just like, “Nope, this is it. This is your meds. Go on with your life.” You know, and and so I I’ve I’ve tried every med in the book and this one did this to me and this one did that to me and you know, all those things.

April Aramanda: Right. Right.

Stephanie Boyle: But even still, it wasn’t medications for the wrong things. It was definitely the right thing.

April Aramanda: Right.

Stephanie Boyle: You know, we were on the right track at least.

April Aramanda: Yeah. I I got incredibly lucky in my diagnosis as well.

Stephanie Boyle: Yeah.

April Aramanda: Um my mother I was taking my mother to meet a new rheatologist and she needed some diagnosises because the last ones were a little conservative and oh it’s you know just your anxiety and depression.

April Aramanda: Um and during that appointment she looked the rheatologist looked at me asked me a question and said I need to see you in office. And so I got incredibly lucky as well and I know that now there have been others that other of my doctors that have dismissed and placated but I get that. So living with MS that alone takes a lot of strength and adaptability. Um what does an average day look like for you as a business owner, a mom and a chronic illness patient?

Stephanie Boyle: No, that’s a great question. Um, I so It’s, you know what it is is a lot of alarms that go off on my phone. Um, the way that I I live by my calendar and I live by alarms. The alarm tells me when to stretch. It tells me when to brush my teeth. It tells me when it tells me everything. Um, and so typically what I do is I I’m able to My son is nine.

April Aramanda: Yeah.

Stephanie Boyle: He’ll be Oh, he’s eight.

Stephanie Boyle: Um, and um, he’s almost nine. And so he um, so he’s pretty self-sufficient in the morning. He he has his routine.

April Aramanda: Mhm.

Stephanie Boyle: He knows what he’s got to do. Um, but I make sure that he gets on the bus and then I do I take some time to myself where I am in bed. I’m doing my Wordle and my connections and all of my New York Times games and then um and then another alarm goes off and says, “How are you feeling? Can you go to work or do you need a few more minutes?” And I trust it. If I don’t have a meeting or if I don’t have something like a hard deadline I have to do or I have to, you know, then I listen to my body and I, you know, I give myself that

April Aramanda: Wow.

Stephanie Boyle: question though. I say like, “Hey, it’s a reminder. It’s 9:00 a.m. Do you want to go to work or do you want to hang out a little while?

Stephanie Boyle: And um and for the most part, if I’m having a good day, which you know, today was a good day. Um I get myself up, get myself to my computer, and um and I just work until, you know, I I feel, you know what, I got to go lay down again.

April Aramanda: Yay.

Stephanie Boyle: And then I find myself and then I get my son off the bus and the rest of the day is me and him time. So um but I I live by schedules.

April Aramanda: Wow.

Stephanie Boyle: I live by calendars and alarms and um but it is a lot of, you know, talking to myself and asking myself those questions. What do I need right now? Do I need to do I need to eat some lunch or am I okay? Would it be better if I crank through for another hour so that I can rest before Chandler gets home or should I It’s It’s really just about talking to myself and having those conversations.

April Aramanda: you are already ahead of the curve than most of us.

April Aramanda: Um, you are very self-aware. I am constantly in that state between my counselor and my husband and everybody else. You need to listen to your body. I know. I know I do. I know I do. But who’s going to do it if I don’t do it? So, you are extremely aware and that is a gift. Um, I do live by my calendars.

Stephanie Boyle: Thank.

April Aramanda: I’ve got a stack of them over here. Um, but I don’t listen to my body as much as it seems like you do. And I kind of really like the idea of setting an alarm that has the question because that question would then make you more self-aware.

Stephanie Boyle: Mhm.

April Aramanda: So, there’s a tip and a hack out there for everybody.

Stephanie Boyle: Yep. Yeah, definitely.

April Aramanda: Well, uh, that’s obviously given a lot of, um, required a lot of flexibility in your life. Um, what about the mindset shift that you’ve had to make to be able to work and show up for everything that you need to

Stephanie Boyle: Um, it’s a lot of um That’s a very very good question. Um I think it’s a lot of um prioritizing. It’s a lot of deciding like what my priorities are. Is my priority my business or is my priority my son? And um and then making that decision and saying like okay well some days it is my son but it’s my business because of my son because he needs to he needs to choose.

April Aramanda: Right.

Stephanie Boyle: So I have to go I have to go to work but some days it’s you know what he’s really asking me if I can spend some time with him. And I know that him saying, “Mom, will you play video games with me?” is him saying, “Mom, I need to I need you.” You know, and so I listen to listen to him as well.

April Aramanda: Yeah.

Stephanie Boyle: Um, but the mindset the mindset was really just making the decision that I wasn’t going to be disabled. I wasn’t going to be um hindered by what I was told.

Stephanie Boyle: I was stamped disabled forever. After my pregnancy, my doctor said, “Nope, you never have to work again. You are disabled for life.” And I just didn’t want to accept that. I just didn’t want to make that that choice.

April Aramanda: Yeah.

Stephanie Boyle: I said, “No, you know what? I don’t think that that’s the best thing for me. I think the best thing for me and for my son would be to keep going. It just may not look the same as what everybody else keeps going.

April Aramanda: Mhm.

Stephanie Boyle: You know, not everybody else can do what I do. Not everybody else can listen to their alarm and say, “Oh, it’s 9:00 a.m. got to go to work.”

April Aramanda: Right.

Stephanie Boyle: You know, um, and so it really was a lot of it’s a lot of conversations with myself about what the best decisions are.

April Aramanda: Oh, that’s fantastic. And I imagine it’s also setting a lot of boundaries for yourself to create that life that you actually want and and a life that not everyone else expects of us when we are disabled.

April Aramanda: Um, especially like something like MS is one of those diagnosises that people understand is a big thing. Like they may not know what MS does, but they understand that’s a disability.

Stephanie Boyle: Mhm.

April Aramanda: Um, and so, you know, they don’t expect much out of you because you have a disability, right?

Stephanie Boyle: Right. Right.

April Aramanda: So having that kind of life that you actually want and that people don’t expect boundaries has to come into play here and not just with yourself setting the alarms and things but with other people.

Stephanie Boyle: 100%.

April Aramanda: So I am a recovering people pleaser. So, what are some boundaries that can be set for people that you’ve done that um would help us not worry so much about pleasing other people, but actually listening to our bodies more and and being there for the immediate family and the immediate needs of our business and other things that we need to do.

Stephanie Boyle: Yeah. I think the best thing that I had to recognize was if I don’t take care of myself, I can’t please others.

Stephanie Boyle: I can’t be the people pleaser I want to be.

April Aramanda: Yeah.

Stephanie Boyle: If I am, if I run myself into the ground and I, you know, am just to the point where I can’t get out of bed and I’m completely exhausted for a month because I didn’t listen for, you know, two weeks, then I’m not there for anybody. Then I’m not making it to the I’m not making it to the event that I said I would go to.

April Aramanda: Mhm.

Stephanie Boyle: So when I set those boundaries ahead of time and I say, you know what, I think I’m going to lean into it, I think I’m going to I know that I have five things coming up next month.

April Aramanda: Right. Mhm.

Stephanie Boyle: So I’m going to take it really really easy this month and like and and when people say to me, hey, can you can you do something? No, you know what? I got stuff going on that I really need to prepare myself for and I need to I need to save my spoons for and I I have to I have to look ahead and make those decisions.

April Aramanda: Right.

Stephanie Boyle: But I won’t show up next month if I say yes yes yes. this month, you know.

April Aramanda: That’s true.

Stephanie Boyle: So, and recognizing that if I’m not my best, then I’m not pleasing anybody. So, I am also a recovering people pleaser. And it is it is a very very challenging place to be in. But recognizing that I I do a lot better pleasing when I’m, you know, when I’m at my best my my best.

April Aramanda: Right.

Stephanie Boyle: Yeah.

April Aramanda: So that is so relatable to me. Uh because I have I I did that a couple of weeks ago. Pushed myself really far and I was I mean down for the count for days.

Stephanie Boyle: Mhm.

April Aramanda: Um and that was just one day of pushing myself too far. Um so when we have to say no to people and that guilt tries to creep in because we’re recovering people pleaser. Um, how do you handle those moments when protecting your peace feels a little uncomfortable to do and you’re like, “Ah, I don’t want to say no, but I need to say no.”

April Aramanda: How does how does that work for you?

Stephanie Boyle: Um, this is so interesting. I just had a conversation not an hour ago with somebody about this. There was one there was one particular defining moment in my life. That happened about five years ago, the fall five years ago when I had to set a really hard boundary and it was and it was something that I had already said that I would do and I had to take it back and it was I just felt icky. I felt wrong. I felt like you know what it would just be easier to do the thing. It would just be easier to to lie and say oh no I’m going to move to Africa and not you know I can’t help you because I’m moving to Africa. like it.

April Aramanda: All right.

Stephanie Boyle: There were so many other easy outs and I just said, “No, this is the right thing to do.” And I actually think about that moment every single time. Every single time I’m faced with a I could say yes and make this person happy in the moment or I could respect myself and my boundaries and I go back to that one moment and it felt so good

April Aramanda: Right.

Stephanie Boyle: after the fact. even though I felt even though I, you know, disappointed somebody, even though in that moment, I mean, 5 years later, they’re not thinking about it anymore, you know, but I’m thinking about how important it felt to me in

April Aramanda: Mhm. Mhm.

Stephanie Boyle: that moment. And I think that that’s um that is my personal um that is my personal kind of tieback is I have to think about that moment. I think about how that felt. I think about what has transpired in my life since I made that decision in that moment and what has benefit and how much I’m just like, okay, that was just five minutes out of my life and it’s changed

April Aramanda: Mhm. Right.

Stephanie Boyle: everything, you know? So, that’s what I do is I tie back and I think back to that and I I bring myself back to that one moment and then I’m just like, oh yeah, and there was that other time that I that I stood up for myself and it worked out well and oh, and there was that other time.

Stephanie Boyle: And then all those I kind of just flood myself with the the times that it’s worked before and um and it and it just carries me through.

April Aramanda: Yeah, imagine that was a huge weight lifted off your shoulders when that was done.

Stephanie Boyle: Oh, abs.

April Aramanda: And that’s one way to really know that that boundary is is correct because when you’ve crossed it when you’re trying not to cross it and you’re trying to keep that boundary up and then you’ve done you’ve said no

Stephanie Boyle: Exactly.

April Aramanda: it’s done and all of a sudden a weight’s lifted off your shoulders that tells you that boundary is accurate. So that’s really cool there.

Stephanie Boyle: Absolutely. Yeah. I had a fant I had a fantastic therapist who once told me as well that um when you do something that is right and positive it like it feels expan expansive like you feel open and you feel big

April Aramanda: Go ahead.

Stephanie Boyle: when you’re doing that wrong thing or you’ve made that decision that maybe wasn’t the best in the moment then it feels really you know it collapses in on yourself and so yeah so I do I think about that a lot too is almost like does this make me feel expansive or does it make me feel enclosed you know and I follow that

April Aramanda: That’s cool. I like that. Well, what about the woman out there who’s listening right now? And of course, we already can’t do as much as we used to because we all have chronic illnesses. And sometimes we’re looking around at our family and we’re thinking, “I’m just not doing enough. I’m not helping enough.” Whatever it is. And she’s now afraid that boundaries are going to be selfish and they’re going to become across as selfish. What would you tell her?

Stephanie Boyle: I would say you are enough. You exactly as you are is enough. And if you are running a company that’s paying the bills, then that’s enough. If you are, you know, making a list so that somebody else can go grocery shopping for you and pay for it for you and then you, you know, make sure that all the things on the list got met, you are enough. There are everybody everybody what they what they can bring and what they can bring to the table is exactly what they’re supposed to bring to the table.

Stephanie Boyle: And they don’t have to bring any more than that or any, you know, any feel like, oh well, April’s doing that much. I should be doing that much.

April Aramanda: Right.

Stephanie Boyle: April’s got a different cookie cutter shape, you know, and and so and that.

April Aramanda: Yeah.

Stephanie Boyle: So, I would just say that whatever you are and whoever you can show up to be is enough.

April Aramanda: Yeah, I agree. You definitely don’t compare yourself to other people even with the same diagnosis because what we all know is that chronic illness diagnosises are different in every single person. So, don’t compare yourself to anybody.

Stephanie Boyle: Agreed.

April Aramanda: Um, okay.

Stephanie Boyle: Absolutely agreed.

April Aramanda: So, you are a single mother and we’ve talked about or you’ve talked about co-parenting while in the middle of major flares. Um, all of that is fun because I I’ve been there, done that. Something that we don’t actually hear about enough is the idea of being a parent in the middle of a flare, single or not. So, can you share what that experience has taught you about strength, trust, and even faith during that time?

Stephanie Boyle: Yeah, definitely. Um the um the the really incredible thing that I have seen through all of this is the resilience of my son and seeing what he is able to absorb and process. I feel like a lot of times people feel like their kids can’t take on as much as they really can. Um and yeah, and with you know with an understanding I’m not telling my three-year-old that I’m you know in the hospital or you know I’m not telling him those things but you know when he’s eight and I say

April Aramanda: Right.

Stephanie Boyle: you know she mom’s having a rough day today. would you mind if you know you take it easy? Then he says, “Oh, can I get you a snack? Oh, can I get you some juice? Oh, can I you know, and he starts to take care of me and he starts to to make up for it on that end.” Um

April Aramanda: Mhm.

Stephanie Boyle: but um but I will say that um in regards to faith, I call it a trust fall.

Stephanie Boyle: And I am just constantly trusting that God will catch me. And I’m constantly trusting that if I if I worry too much about it, then then it’s then it becomes my problem and I can’t fix it. you know, if if I if I can trust and I can just lean back and and and know that God has a way, God has a reason for for whatever path this is that I’m on, then um then him, then it just becomes that much easier. It just becomes that much more, you know, fruitful and bene beneficial.

April Aramanda: See, I’m writing that down now because I love what you said. Your faith is a trust fall. That’s such an interesting way to look at putting your faith in God and being like, “Okay, you’re going to get me. I I have no idea when you’re gonna grab me, but you’re gonna grab me on the way down.

Stephanie Boyle: Yeah.

April Aramanda: So, I’m gonna trust you.

Stephanie Boyle: Yeah.

April Aramanda: Um because trust is very hard, especially when we are going through something that changes daytoday, minute by minute sometimes.

Stephanie Boyle: Mhm.

April Aramanda: Um so that is a fantastic quote that I am now going to accredit to you and uh use myself because it’s great.

Stephanie Boyle: Thank you.

April Aramanda: Um, so we we’ve talked about faith and that trust fall idea, but we also have people in our lives and you’ve mentioned learning how to find that right kind of support. So, what have you discovered about building a circle that truly lifts you instead of draining you?

Stephanie Boyle: Um, I think that’s a that’s a really good question, too. And I think that it it does go back to that expansive or, you know, or inward kind of feeling.

April Aramanda: Mhm.

Stephanie Boyle: um when you’re with when you’re in the room with the right kind of people um you don’t feel as though you’re you’re stuck or you’re by yourself or you know that feeling of being alone in a room full of people is is very very real and very very true and it can happen a lot.

April Aramanda: Yes.

Stephanie Boyle: Um but um but I think that finding those people I always call them my tribe.

April Aramanda: All

Stephanie Boyle: I always say it’s my tribe that is, you know, is is keeping me up, standing around me and keeping me keeping me grounded. And I’m in finding those people that, you know, make you feel empowered that don’t judge you when you set boundaries. That say congratulations when you say no and and speak up and say, “Hey, maybe you should say no. Maybe

April Aramanda: right.

Stephanie Boyle: I’m not going to, you know, I want you to know that you’re invited, but I also want you to know that you can skip out.” You know, those are your people. those are the people that um that you should be filling your filling your cup especially with chronic illness especially in an entrepreneur world and and you know when we’re out there I mean it’s um it’s very very important

April Aramanda: Yeah.

Stephanie Boyle: to to have those people that are you know making you feel positive making you feel Mhm.

April Aramanda: Yeah. And it is very lonely to have a chronic illness even with people around you that do understand as much as they can understand.

Stephanie Boyle: Mhm.

April Aramanda: Um, I have an absolutely amazing husband who flips over backwards to do things for me because of chronic illness.

Stephanie Boyle: Mhm.

April Aramanda: Um, but it can be lonely even with that.

Stephanie Boyle: Right.

April Aramanda: And so I love that you said find the people that will congratulate you when you set a boundary or will say I am inviting you but if you do not feel upcoming please know I’m not going to think

Stephanie Boyle: Yeah.

April Aramanda: badly of you because you didn’t you know um I think that’s so very important.

Stephanie Boyle: Right. Right. Yeah. And I think your point about your husband as well is a really good point and that’s something that comes up.

April Aramanda: So yeah, right.

Stephanie Boyle: I I have an incredible partner and um he’s so so wonderfully supportive of both me and my son. Um, and sometimes he’ll say like, “Oh yeah, I forget that you have MS.” But that doesn’t mean that he’s not, you know, hand over foot making sure that I’m taken care of, making sure that if I say, “Oh, I forgot my water bottle.”

April Aramanda: Right.

Stephanie Boyle: He hops up and runs and gets it. Like, and that’s and that’s what it’s about. It’s like, it doesn’t have to be a day in and day out like, “Oh, yeah. Like,

April Aramanda: Yes.

Stephanie Boyle: let’s not all forget that we have like that has MS.

April Aramanda: Yeah.

Stephanie Boyle: Like, we’re not going to forget.” No, it’s just a matter of finding the people that treat you with care because they love you and not because of your diagnosis.

April Aramanda: Yes. Well, and the thing is for those people, it’s not a daily thing.

Stephanie Boyle: Right.

April Aramanda: It is for us. It’s always in our minds. It’s always in our bodies. We feel it 24/7. We think about it 247. Can’t really help that.

Stephanie Boyle: Yeah.

April Aramanda: It just kind of is what it is. So, it is a huge part of our identity, but it’s not our whole identity.

Stephanie Boyle: Mhm.

April Aramanda: And I think what I’ve seen and what you just said made me see that in your partner is that um they have built a routine in their minds of helping and getting things done for us that doesn’t have to say, “Oh yeah, she has XYZ.”

April Aramanda: Right? It’s just part of their routine now and they’re taking care of us. Now, on the really bad days, those are the days that they’ll probably think about it more.

Stephanie Boyle: Yeah.

April Aramanda: Um, and that’s okay, too. But I I like that. I think I think that makes me think of that in a slightly better direction because I always feel bad that I have put so much on him. But the truth of the matter is that’s part of a relationship anyway.

Stephanie Boyle: Right.

April Aramanda: And so now I’m like, okay, well, he’s not necessarily thinking that I have a chronic illness 247. He’s probably just grabbing me the water bottle because I’m sitting there asking for the water bottle, you know.

Stephanie Boyle: Exactly.

April Aramanda: So, and he’s closer, you know, or I don’t feel good, so he’s going to get up and grab it. So, that’s cool.

Stephanie Boyle: And I think that’s a part of like not feeling guilty and not feeling that guilt.

April Aramanda: Well, yes.

Stephanie Boyle: They people love us for us.

Stephanie Boyle: It’s not because of our illness. It’s because they love us for us.

April Aramanda: Yes. And if they don’t love you for you, that will show very quickly.

Stephanie Boyle: Exactly. Exactly.

April Aramanda: Very quickly in chronic illness life, you’ll find out.

Stephanie Boyle: Exactly.

April Aramanda: Um, so someone that’s in the middle of a flare up or has them often, but they want to try to start something new, a business of some kind, while they’re managing their health, what’s one piece of encouragement you’d give to them?

Stephanie Boyle: I would say um to start as small as you possibly need to. Um you do not have to found Staples Incorporated tomorrow. Um and and nobody expects you to.

April Aramanda: Right.

Stephanie Boyle: Um it it starts small. It starts with whatever your idea is, whatever your heart is, whatever you feel inspires you. Um, but I started with one client. I worked five hours a week when I first started out and now I’m working, you know, 35, 40 hours a week. Um, but it didn’t start out that way.

Stephanie Boyle: And I think that if you try to jump in head first, it’ll be a lot more daunting, right?

April Aramanda: I agree. I think it’s a lot worse if you try to do it all at one time. Um I I have had this is like my second business and so my first one just closed uh a couple years ago out of just necessity. Um and I was there in the middle of hustle culture like and so I just put both feet in and ran trying to do all the channels, all the things, all the little pieces.

Stephanie Boyle: Mhm.

April Aramanda: And I’m now having to unlearn that and say, “Okay, I’ve been doing all the pieces on social. Which one is really giving me what I’m looking for? Okay, this one.

Stephanie Boyle: Yeah.

April Aramanda: So, I need to stop doing this because this social gives me what I’m looking for. This one does not or whatever the case may be.” So,

Stephanie Boyle: Right.

April Aramanda: that’s really good advice to kind of just take it slow, take it easy.

Stephanie Boyle: Yeah.

April Aramanda: Think of it like seasons. So, there’s a book called Growing Slow. Uh, Jennifer Dukesle. I actually remembered her name. Uh, I thought I was gonna lose it there. Anyway, I read that a couple years ago when I was running my other business and it really made me think about business, life, everything in seasons. So, winter is always going to be a little dark and cold. And you know, it’s going to be probably a rough season for most of us cuz we know that things happen in the cold with our bodies that don’t necessarily happen during the rest of the year. And then spring comes around and everything starts popping up and it’s been working under the, you know, under the soil the whole time. We just didn’t see it. So that’s what we do. We sit and we work quietly at our pace, however that looks like. and it’s okay to go slow as long as you’re still going. And then spring comes and all of a sudden the rest of the world gets to see what we’ve been working on.

Stephanie Boyle: Great.

April Aramanda: You know, that kind of idea. I think I think I really I really encourage women who are doing anything business for themselves, who are entrepreneurs, um to take it at your own pace. Hustle culture is not going to get you there any faster.

Stephanie Boyle: Nope.

April Aramanda: Most things take six months to a year to even begin making money.

Stephanie Boyle: Mhm.

April Aramanda: Um, so take the time and enjoy that.

Stephanie Boyle: Yeah.

April Aramanda: So before we wrap up our fun interview here, what is next for you and finished by f Friday? Any projects, goals, dreams that you’re excited about?

Stephanie Boyle: Um yeah, I am we are working right now. We kind of did a shift within the company where um we’re gearing towards, you know, really expanding the work that we do for the clients that we have and seeing where else in their company we can be beneficial. Um do they need help with writing? Do they need help with, you know, um different aspects of their company and taking on,you know, seeing what expanding our brains and seeing, hey, what else can we do?

Stephanie Boyle: We got a lot of we got a lot on our list right now, but what else can we do?

April Aramanda: Yeah.

Stephanie Boyle: And um and so it’s I’m a team of three. I have two incredible employees um who work with me at By Friday and um and the three of us just are really working together to figure out what what we want this to look like. We’re all mothers.

April Aramanda: Yeah.

Stephanie Boyle: We’re all modeling it after um after what our schedules look like with these kids. And so um and so we’re keep growing it together.

April Aramanda: Yeah, that’s awesome. And so I imagine you are always willing to take on more clients, which eventually will mean you will be willing to hire more people.

Stephanie Boyle: Absolutely.

April Aramanda: So if you are an entrepreneur and you need some VA work of any kind, contact by Friday because they can do amazing things.

Stephanie Boyle: What a Thank you so much.

April Aramanda: Well, Stephanie, thank you so much for sharing your story and your heart today. Your honesty about boundaries, motherhood, and creating a life that fits your body and what you need, not just your to-do list, is such a gift. So, thank you.

Stephanie Boyle: Thank you so much.