This episode dives into Rachel’s story of loving and losing her husband to ALS and how she helped him “end well” with dignity, faith, and joy. We talk about invisible illness, caregiving, grief, honoring someone’s choices in their final days, and what it really means to live abundantly even when life hurts. Rachel also opens up about her ministry, Spirited Prosperity, and her mission to help women over 45 reclaim their stories and connect with the Holy Spirit. Whether you’re a caregiver, someone who’s grieving, or a woman wrestling with what’s next—this one will speak to you right where you are.
⚠️ Trigger Warning:
This episode contains discussion of terminal illness, grief, caregiving, and the death of a spouse.
⏱️ Timestamped Highlights + Quotes:
- 00:00 – Rachel’s backstory and how Spirited Prosperity began
- 03:20 – “We were both diagnosed with his disease.”
- 06:40 – The power of helping someone ‘end well’
- 11:50 – Why she wore red to her husband’s funeral
- 16:30 – The mental toll of ALS and chronic illness
- 21:10 – “Let them think what they want. You do what works for you.”
- 26:00 – How social media changed the way we share stories (and hide from them)
- 29:40 – On grief, change, and letting go of the plan you thought you had
- 33:15 – John 10:10, gratitude, and finding abundance in suffering
- 36:45 – “Until you’re not breathing, your story’s not over.”
🛠️ Tools, Resources & Mentions:
- Rachel’s website: spiritedprosperity.com
- The Widow Chose Red by Rachel K. Schneider (available on Amazon)
- Instagram: @spiritedprosperity
- Facebook & LinkedIn: Rachel K. Schneider
- The Dash poem mentioned during the funeral
- Quote referenced: “Let them.” —Mel Robbins
Transcript
April Aramanda: Welcome, Rachel, to the Invisible Illness Club podcast. I’m so glad to have you here.
Rachel K Schneider: April. It’s a real honor to be with you.
April Aramanda: and we’ve already been having great conversation before we even started the episode.
April Aramanda: So, this is going to be a good one. you’ve had such an inspiring journey. I mean, you’ve worked in corporate marketing to direct sales to…
April Aramanda: what you’re doing Can you share a little bit about your backstory and what led you to create Sorry guys, gue Spirited prosperity.
Rachel K Schneider: Thank you for asking.
Rachel K Schneider: I created Spirited Prosperity after going through my own dark deep time as I struggled with my husband’s terminal illness. And what I wanted to do was to be able to share and inspire with other women in particular about some of the ways that I was fortified through my faith during that journey. And so that’s the focus of Spirited Prosperity. I love being with women. I love sharing with women, mentoring.
Rachel K Schneider: I believe that we gather strength and support from each other and that we all have a story to share. And so part of my mission and my calling is to remind women of the supernatural superpower that we’ve all been gifted with in the form of the Holy Spirit.
Rachel K Schneider: And I want to make sure that I can help you put the eye back into your spirit.
April Aramanda: That’s nice.
April Aramanda: I like that. So, you basically were a caregiver for someone that until toward the end looked just fine and no one knew he had cancer, …
Rachel K Schneider: Yes,…
Rachel K Schneider: it was ALS that my husband that’s all right.
April Aramanda: I’m so sorry. Mhm. Right. Right.
Rachel K Schneider: It was ALS that he was diagnosed with 17 years ago. And ALS is short for amotrophic lateral sclerosis. A lot of you may know it as Luke Garri’s disease. and here’s the thing in terms of being stealth. a lot of people who are diagnosed with it don’t even know that they have it. It can take years to figure out what’s really going on because it can mimic so many things like MS and Parkinson’s.
Rachel K Schneider: And so the testing for it can be quite brutal and in intense because they really want to eliminate a lot of possibilities especially as you were saying earlier you can’t see it because initially you really can’t unless you may see some twitching of the muscles. What happens with ALS is that the motor neurons which carry the messages from the brain to the muscles die.
Rachel K Schneider: So the muscles end up atrophying and as we all know your diaphragm is the muscle that the lungs and so in the end while your body self paralyzes your mind stays completely present and you suffocating. Yeah.
April Aramanda: Man.
April Aramanda: Walking alongside someone with a terminal illness, That’s a sacred, heartbreaking, and stretching place to be, honestly. So, what helped you navigate that season in your life as you’re dealing with all of this as well?
April Aramanda: Cuz it’s not just your husband dealing with it, it’s you as well, right?
Rachel K Schneider: Yes, you’re right.
Rachel K Schneider: I like to say, we were diagnosed with Derek’s disease and I think we had been married for 21 years.
April Aramanda: All right.
Rachel K Schneider: We were raising two young sons and this was the furthest thing from our mind which I’m sure you and your listeners. We get hit with these curve balls all the time and we wonder, okay, what am I supposed to do with this? And for those of us who are faith-based people who believe in God the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit, we’re like, “Okay, what am I supposed to do with this right now?” because I don’t believe that our God makes us sick. I do believe that he allows us to be tested. And I do believe that we’re all tested and we all incur our own suffering in this world will be different for every one of us. But we know what Jesus how he suffered on our behalf.
Rachel K Schneider: So why would we think for a minute, April, that we wouldn’t have to endure,…
April Aramanda: Right. Right.
Rachel K Schneider: right? Absolutely.
April Aramanda: I mean, and even scripture tells us because so many people have this misconception that if you’re a Christian, then you’re not going to suffer. And the truth of the matter is the scriptures tell us that we actually will suffer, but that he will be there with us. And so, it sounds like for you, he was right there with you through all of that.
Rachel K Schneider: Without a doubt.
Rachel K Schneider: Because you know what they say when you get to the end of your rope or when you get to the end of yourself, where go? you go on your knees and you call out to God. You say,…
April Aramanda: Yes. Mhm.
Rachel K Schneider: ” I can’t even comprehend this.” and that’s also when we have those days when we’re so completely overwhelmed that we don’t even know minute how we’re going to manage. that’s when we call on that power of the Holy Spirit and…
Rachel K Schneider: say, “Okay, please intercede for me because you can do for me what I can’t do. I can’t think straight right now. Please just take care of whatever it is that I need in this.” Yeah, absolutely.
April Aramanda: right? …
April Aramanda: I’ve had many of those moments where I don’t even know what to pray. I just let the Holy Spirit pray for me. yeah, I can imagine. So, you told me something about the idea of helping someone end well.
April Aramanda: That’s something that we don’t talk about enough because everybody dies. We know this. But what does that look like in real life for you at least?
Rachel K Schneider: …
Rachel K Schneider: April, you said some things earlier. it’s scary. it’s a sacred journey. you’re right. But we all have this picture in our mind of what happily ever after is going to look like.
Rachel K Schneider: And I think part of my message is to share. Even if we don’t get the happily ever after, we can get the hopefully ever after. And even though my husband, after he got the diagnosis, one of my first questions was, okay, you’ve been told you have two to five years to live.
April Aramanda: Mhm. Yeah.
Rachel K Schneider: What is it that you want to do? What is on that bucket list? where do you you want to sail around the world? You want to climb Mount Everest? What is it you want to do? And he looked at me and just said, I want to live as normally as I can with you and our boys for as long as I that’s it.
April Aramanda: There he is. Yeah.
Rachel K Schneider: And so, even knowing that that wasn’t what I would have chosen, April, it was really important to be able to honor his wishes. And when you’re helping someone end well,…
Rachel K Schneider: that’s part of it is honoring what their choices are and giving them that ability to at least control part of what this journey might look like.
April Aramanda: Mhm. Yeah,…
Rachel K Schneider: They’re not going to be able to control all of it, but at least giving them the opportunity because that will bring them some peace. Yes. Yes.
April Aramanda: so I know you wrote a book called The Widow Chose Red, and I’ve seen the picture on the cover of the book, so I’m assuming this is you at the funeral wearing a red dress. Correct. Okay.
Rachel K Schneider: That is an actual picture. I had some Well,…
April Aramanda: So, I have to ask then what the story is behind this.
Rachel K Schneider: so my husband was diagnosed 17 years ago.
April Aramanda: Yeah. Mhm.
Rachel K Schneider: He’s been in heaven for 14 years. And those are my boys, John and Jake. They were 10 and 14 when their dad died. each are wearing a tie from their dad. I chose red, April, because red is the color of love. It’s the color passion. It’s also the color of fire, which is part of how the Holy Spirit is denoted in a So that all carried great weight for me. It was also important to make sure that although my husband died in a most brutal and…
Rachel K Schneider: devastating manner, I wanted to make sure we celebrated the way that he lived and know that his life was a testimony to all the good that God has given us. And yes, he was He was able to finish and end well too. And we were celebrating his homegoing
April Aramanda: I can imagine some of the looks you got at that funeral cuz not everybody knows you well enough to understand that there’s a reason behind that.
April Aramanda: But that just goes to show for all you listeners that you do what’s best for you and you do what’s best for you, your family, your spouse, whatever it is. And it doesn’t matter how many looks you get. If you’re considering walking a walker and that’s the best way for you to get around,…
April Aramanda: just go ahead and do it.
April Aramanda: try to put out what other people say as h I just lost her name. She wrote let them theory.
Rachel K Schneider: Mel Robbins.
Rachel K Schneider: This exactly and…
April Aramanda: Thank Any I must be in a brain fog today with my chronic illnesses because any other day I could have pulled that name off the tip of my tongue and been fine. So, as Mel Robbins says let them theory, just let them have their thoughts.
Rachel K Schneider: I think April here’s the thing too funerals celebration of life didn’t exist back then the way it does now Now,…
April Aramanda: Right. Mhm.
Rachel K Schneider: it’s much more common that, wear your favorite Hawaiian shirt or wear your favorite, hat. we’re much more aware of celebrating than,…
April Aramanda: Yes. Yes. Yeah.
Rachel K Schneider: being so filled with I mean, we’re still sorrowful and we’re still sad, but we’re also looking at how does that person want to be remembered? And you can do that with some fun and with some flare. I was probably a little ahead of my time. I will admit to that. And one of the other things that I was cognizant of was the fact that I would not remember that service, I knew that I wouldn’t. My sons recited a poem called the dash.
Rachel K Schneider: So I at least had the presence of mind to hire a videographer to be there to capture it all so that all these years later they can go back and…
Rachel K Schneider: I can look back and see the and…
April Aramanda: Right. Right.
Rachel K Schneider: also hear the stories that people were sharing later at the after lunch about their dad and I really wanted to capture that for them as well. Yeah. …
April Aramanda: Tell us a little more. I mean, other than telling the story of what y’all went through and then his end there, what else is the book about? Is that pretty much it or…
Rachel K Schneider: it kind of chronicles, how we met, being a new married couple,…
April Aramanda: a? yes.
Rachel K Schneider: husband, climbing the corporate ladder, me being the trailing spouse, relocating seven times in 15 years. We all know how difficult that can be to community. find a new doctor, find a new church, all of those things. so it tells just some of the stories of what life looked like and then, getting the diagnosis and…
Rachel K Schneider: and realizing there are not any options and yet trying to figure out if there is a way to step outside the box and try something experimental.
April Aramanda: Thank you.
Rachel K Schneider: I would imagine that, people who have chronic illness as well, there’s always, I mean,…
Rachel K Schneider: there’s always something new and different and the social media didn’t exist the way that it does now where I mean, you can Google anything and everything and come up with, drink cucumber juice for this, parsley water for this or whatever it might be, right? and ultimately in the end, we all have to choose for ourselves how we’re going to manage whatever illness we have and…
Rachel K Schneider: what choices we’re going to make to improve our quality of life mentally, physically, and spiritually. Okay. Yes.
April Aramanda: Yeah. …
April Aramanda: so very true. All of us in the chronic illness community, I think, at some level of will try most anything to make life feel better. There are some that I’ll be honest, there’s some weird things out there, but I am very willing to try a lot of things outside of medication because I’m already on so many that, so I totally and completely understand how y’all must have felt.
April Aramanda: Is there anybody in any other country doing something? and unfortunately so many things like Lou Garri and…
April Aramanda: MS and all the other chronic illnesses, so many of them will never have a cure because we just don’t have the time for the people living with it to see that happen. I hope that one day the majority of things have a cure. but I just know that it’s not going to be in my lifetime, Mhm.
Rachel K Schneider: Yes. Yes.
Rachel K Schneider: And you bring up a very good point, April, because here’s the thing. You’ll appreciate this story. So, my sister-in-law is a real health and wellness person. And so, we went through a whole detox protocol. All right? So, I mean, we’re talking and this is 17 years ago when,…
Rachel K Schneider: when eating, organic, sugar, no processed food, using cast iron skillets, filtered water, all of this was not the norm that it is today,…
April Aramanda: Mhm. No,…
Rachel K Schneider: right? No.
April Aramanda: it was not.
Rachel K Schneider: John and I got on this program. I mean, he quinoa, he didn’t even know how to pronounce it. He really didn’t like it.
Rachel K Schneider: …
April Aramanda: Mhm. Yes.
Rachel K Schneider: eggplant ragu. that wasn’t so great either. But He did it all. And so, we end up at the ALS clinic for one of our appointments. And of course, both of us have dropped some weight, And we think we’re being pretty healthy and this is good, right? And we walk into the clinic and they weigh John and they’re like, “You’ve lost weight. What did you do?” And he being, very excited, he goes, “Well, I’m eating clean. I’m eating clean.
Rachel K Schneider: I’m eating, right?” And D. And they’re like,…
April Aramanda: Right. Yeah.
Rachel K Schneider: that’s not really going to help. don’t lose any more weight.” and I almost bounced right out of that chair ” are you trying to take away every bit of hope that we could possibly have?” of course, today that’s one of the first things they’re going to tell you, right, April, is to clean up your diet.
April Aramanda: Right. lose weight.
Rachel K Schneider: Get as best you can.
April Aramanda: You need to talk with your primary care doctor about how to lose weight. How many times have I heard that? It’s all about your weight. It’s just your weight. And can we please stop talking about weight in this country? Whoopdeoo.
Rachel K Schneider: You are abs I agree I agree because most of us are still very healthy so we may have an extra 10 or 15 pounds so what I mean that I know actually it’s probably good for us…
April Aramanda: Yeah. Not really. Probably
Rachel K Schneider: because we’re seeing women in their later years who have been petite and small their whole life, their bones are breaking. They’re brittle. there’s a reason that we need to carry some of that extra poundage around. And you’re right, but I was just absolutely mortified that this clinic would just be so lacadasical, I should say, or just discount all of this.
Rachel K Schneider: And I wish I could say that that’s changed. I don’t know I will tell you that, we stepped outside of the box with stem cells. I’m sure that’s probably been something that a lot of you and your listeners may have with too. I do believe there’s a power in stem cells.
Rachel K Schneider: I don’t know that we’ve been able to harness it just yet, but I do believe that There’s something about a stem cell that can be absolutely phenomenal. so it is the other thing too is that for my husband, basically because the muscles are atrophying, I mean, just imagine you’ve got an itch on your nose and you can’t lift your hand to scratch it,…
April Aramanda: That would drive me crazy.
Rachel K Schneider: I mean, the mental component of this illness was something that I don’t think I really understood until much later.
April Aramanda: Yeah. Yeah.
Rachel K Schneider: So, every day I’m just grateful to be able to move, to wake up. It’s a gift.
April Aramanda: I don’t think anyone fully understands the mental toll that being sick continuously probably for the rest of your life really does take on people.
April Aramanda: Let’s switch a little bit to talk about spirited prosperity. So I understand that it’s all about growing in faith and connecting more with the Holy Spirit. Correct. So for someone unfamiliar with what that means, how do you explain what that looks like? Mhm.
Rachel K Schneider: Yes. Yes.
Rachel K Schneider: So, the best way that I can explain it is kind of what I mentioned earlier. a lot of us may have grown up in church and a lot of us may have a lot of biblical knowledge, but it’s about developing that personal relationship and as you said earlier, just having Jesus, he’s got a seat at the table, knowing that room with us all the time and…
Rachel K Schneider: realizing too that the Holy Spirit is that third component of the Trinity that allows us, that’s what was gifted to us and left within us to help us deal with the things of this world that we don’t understand and…
April Aramanda: Mhm. …
Rachel K Schneider: can’t always manage. And I know for me personally, April, I feel like the Holy Spirit gets left out of a lot of conversation.
April Aramanda: he does.
Rachel K Schneider: We’re Thank you.
April Aramanda: It’s like we totally forget he’s part of the Trinity. I mean
Rachel K Schneider:
Rachel K Schneider: Yes, absolutely. and we love God and we love Jesus, but there’s this other mystical part and you can’t really explain it. But once you feel it and knowing that you can stir that up within yourself just by asking for it is a big part of…
April Aramanda: Mhm.
Rachel K Schneider: what I want to remind women and men that they can do because I think we’re so quick to look for external fixes and look for external things to make things better and yet this is something that we have in us that we can access. And so, I want to help people remember that and also fortify their reservoir of faith because Lord knows we are going to have something come our way and…
Rachel K Schneider: we need to be ready as best we can. Exact.
April Aramanda: Yeah, that’s so true.
April Aramanda: Some of us more often than not. It’s always funny. so you’re passionate about helping women 45 plus,…
April Aramanda: Confidently share their stories. What blocks do you see that come up most often for women trying to share their story? And how do you help them overcome that?
Rachel K Schneider: So I think a lot of times women are afraid to share their story.
Rachel K Schneider: There may be something a trauma around it that they’re not really ready to admit to.
Rachel K Schneider: I think a lot of times there’s a subconscious component that says what we can talk about this but we can’t talk about this. And it’s been interesting to me as I’m 62.
April Aramanda: Mhm.
Rachel K Schneider: I’ll be 63 this year. And it’s been interesting to me to see how once again social media has changed the game. And how sometimes women might be willing to share something out there into the ether and be okay with that. And yet having the heart, face-toface, person to eye,…
April Aramanda: Mhm. Yeah.
Rachel K Schneider: because that’s where you really need to be vulnerable. this technology can serve us well, but it can also take us to some places where we don’t really readily have to admit the truth about our life.
April Aramanda: That’s true. how do you help people overcome that?
April Aramanda: Those things that just make them feel self-conscious, but they know they need to tell their story.
Rachel K Schneider: I by leading by example…
Rachel K Schneider: because I will tell you how many times I’m sure somebody has said to you too April you should write a book and I don’t know maybe you already have a book you okay…
April Aramanda: Not yet. Right.
Rachel K Schneider: but that’s the thing I want to be that example of okay this was put in my heart 13 years ago to tell this story and it has taken me this long to get it down on paper. And so part of me wants to just inspire you to do that thing that’s been the back of your mind or that’s been in your heart all of these years.
Rachel K Schneider: I also want to encourage women to just be open. a lot of us get into we tell ourselves this story about what our life is supposed to look like.
April Aramanda: right? Mhm.
Rachel K Schneider: And a lot of times we get upset if things aren’t going to plan. I want to encourage you to just be open to what those changes might be. you’re stepping out. You’re going to be relocating. You’ve got your reasons, but there’s going to be a whole new world that’s going to open up for you and your family. And I think that a lot of times I’ve been surprised at how many women are afraid to relocation was part of my life for most of my life.
April Aramanda: Mine too.
Rachel K Schneider: Yes,…
April Aramanda: Military brat.
Rachel K Schneider: there you go. So you become accustomed to that. But it’s surprising to me too, April, how many women are fearful of change. and I just want to be that person that maybe can inspire you to go, “Wow, maybe I should think about that.
Rachel K Schneider: Wow, I don’t have to write the book in one day, but maybe I could start chapter today. I could speak it into my phone. I could record it into something and transcribe it.” Our technology has made these things so much easier now that you’re Yes. story, your story can get out there much more quickly.
April Aramanda: So much easier.
Rachel K Schneider: You don’t have to wait like I did.
April Aramanda: And…
April Aramanda: I think to add to that, I want to say to the listeners that it is also okay in the middle of trying to be open to grieve whatever’s left behind, to grieve what you’re losing. I know my parents are getting ready to move into a house in town, which will make it easier for them to get access to everything,…
Rachel K Schneider: Mhm.
April Aramanda: especially since we’re leaving for Florida right now. We live next door to each other.
April Aramanda: And so I know that while it’s a good thing that they move and they know that, my mother will also grieve because this is the land that she thought she was going to spend her last days And now that has changed and it’s changed for a good reason and it’s better change for them. But at the same time, it’s okay to grieve what you’re losing and what you’re leaving behind. it being open to change does not mean you have to let everything just say it doesn’t matter anymore because it does matter and it is okay to grieve that.
Rachel K Schneider: That’s a great point. and here’s the thing, the grief will change.
April Aramanda: Mhm.
Rachel K Schneider: Your mom will feel differently in six months than she does from the first month,…
Rachel K Schneider: And then she’ll feel different 12 months from the six months.
April Aramanda: Right. Yeah.
Rachel K Schneider: and she’ll still be sad that you guys aren’t there, but it will be different and I do think that it is important. You bring up a very good point because, all of us are probably living differently than we thought we were, but that doesn’t necessarily mean it has to be bad.
April Aramanda: Yes. We only wish man unicorns.
Rachel K Schneider: Different doesn’t necessarily, but it can be hard. I’m not going to say that it won’t necessarily be, rainbows and unicorns the whole way. yeah. absolutely, my dear. you make a excellent point though.
April Aramanda: All So as we are wrapping up, I have a few more questions to ask you.
April Aramanda: What is one practice, mindset, prayer, scripture, whatever that has helped sustain you on those hardest days.
Rachel K Schneider: John 10:10 comes to mind. the last half of the verse, I have come to bring you life and bring you life more abundantly. And I don’t think that I really got that for a long time because abundantly looks all of us think abundantly means an easy life full of everything hoped for.
April Aramanda: Right. Mhm.
Rachel K Schneider: And I do believe that sometimes in our suffering and in our struggle it’s when we get to the other side of that or through that moment or through that day that then when we put our head on the pillow we can say okay thank you for getting me through that.
Rachel K Schneider: And that would be the second practice I think and I see it in my book which even surprised me. I was keeping a gratitude journal I think which was a thing right? Yes. maybe there it is.
April Aramanda: I have one too.
Rachel K Schneider: And I remember it was interesting to me to go back and look at that in the middle of all this chaos and everything in my life and watching the losses for John. to just remember the little things that I was thankful for and I think that is a practice that all of us can benefit from because it really does help our heart and our head. they can get the book on Amazon and…
April Aramanda: No, I agree. where can our listeners connect with you, get the book, or learn more about Spirited Prosperity?
Rachel K Schneider: I think the audio book is not done yet. I just got done in my little homemade recording studio and they’re putting it together hopefully in another couple of weeks. It is available in paperback or…
April Aramanda: Easy.
Rachel K Schneider: hardback. And then the website is spiritedprosperity.com. You can learn more about me and my speaking engagements and also join an online community as well. And then of course connect with me on Insta or Facebook or LinkedIn. would love to see you there as well.
April Aramanda: That’s awesome. final word for you.
April Aramanda: What would you say to the woman listening who feels like her story is over?
Rachel K Schneider: You know what?
Rachel K Schneider: And until you’re not breathing on this side, there’s work to be done. And your purpose is still there. And even maybe you can’t see what that is. just know that we serve one who does. He knows what you were created for. He knows what your purpose is. And he will get you there. Whatever he’s called you to do, he will fortify you and he will make a so you may doubt that, but I’m here to tell you it it will absolutely happen.
Rachel K Schneider: So don’t despair. because he is there.
April Aramanda: That’s a great final word.
April Aramanda: I think we’re going to wrap it there.
April Aramanda: Thank you so much for joining us today. We really appreciate it.
Rachel K Schneider: Thank you,…
Rachel K Schneider: my dear April, and Godspeed in your new adventure.
April Aramanda: Thanks. All right, we are done. Thanks.