014 What Chronic Illness Is Teaching Me About Trusting God

Faith isn’t always easy when your body won’t cooperate and your plans constantly fall apart. In this raw and personal episode, I’m sharing how chronic illness is teaching me to stop performing and start trusting. From years of self-reliance to finally learning how to rest in God’s strength, this is for anyone who’s ever whispered, “God, I can’t do this.” Spoiler: You don’t have to do it alone.

Memorable Quotes:

  • “I’ve known God since I was ten—but chronic illness is teaching me how to actually trust Him.”
  • “God isn’t waiting for you to prove yourself. He’s just asking you to come—exhausted, overwhelmed, and fully loved.”
  • “When my heart is overwhelmed, lead me to the Rock that is higher than I. That verse isn’t about climbing. It’s about being carried.”

Links: 

  • Psalm 61:2 – “When my heart is overwhelmed, lead me to the rock that is higher than I.”

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Transcription

Hey friend. Welcome back to The Invisible Illness Club Podcast. Today’s episode is a deeply personal one. We’re talking about faith. But not the buttoned-up, polished, “everything happens for a reason” kind of faith.

No—this is the faith that shows up in the middle of brain fog, body pain, and complete burnout. The faith that doesn’t always come easy. The kind that’s been wrestled with, questioned, and slowly reshaped.

Because if I’m being honest, I’ve known God most of my life. I’ve believed in Him since I was ten. But chronic illness is teaching me something deeper. It’s teaching me what it really means to trust Him.

You know, I always knew we were supposed to rely on God. I heard it all my life. “Lean on Him.” “Trust in His strength.” It was the right answer. But anytime I tried to rely on God? It felt like silence. Like I was waiting on answers that never came.

So I figured—maybe I’m just supposed to handle things myself. So I did.

I built my identity around being strong. I prided myself on being independent, capable, the one who could juggle it all and still keep it together. I equated strength with not needing help—from anyone. Including God.

Faith, to me, was something I held in the background. Something I leaned on when things were really bad. But otherwise? I thought it was up to me.

My breaking point wasn’t this one big dramatic moment. It happened slowly. Like a light dimming over time.

For years, I didn’t even realize I was dealing with a chronic illness. I just thought I was exhausted. I’d get a migraine, or end up stuck in bed again, and I’d tell myself, “I probably just pushed too hard.” I thought I just needed to catch up on sleep, then I’d bounce back.

But I was a single mom raising a child with mental health struggles. I didn’t have the luxury of slowing down. There was no time to listen to my body, no room to really hear God trying to get my attention.

I was praying—but it was mostly for my son. For strength to get through another day. I thought I was leaning on God, but I realize now… I was still trying to carry most of it myself.

And as my symptoms got worse—when rest didn’t fix it anymore, when my body wouldn’t bounce back—I had to admit something I never wanted to:

I can’t do this on my own.

I knew deep in my soul that there was no way I could keep living like this without God helping me.

That’s when I started learning—really learning—how to lean on Him.

Faith looks really different for me now.

It’s not performative. It’s not about the perfect quiet time or saying the right words. It’s raw. Honest. Personal.

I still don’t have all the answers. Some days, I don’t know how I’m going to get through everything I have planned—especially when my body is begging me to stay in bed.

I still get it wrong. I still don’t always listen to my body like I should. But I’m learning to trust God more. I’m learning that He doesn’t need me to be strong—He just wants me to lean on Him.

I’ve started to hear His voice in ways I never could before. Not because He just started speaking—but because I finally got quiet enough to hear it.

I’ve never been good at resting. Or listening. Or being still. But chronic illness? It forced me to stop. It forced me to get quiet. And in that stillness, I started to hear the whisper of a God who had been with me all along.

There’s a scripture I had tattooed in white ink on my wrist, just for me—Psalm 61:2.

“When my heart is overwhelmed, lead me to the rock that is higher than I.”

I got it after my husband and I got married, when I finally had help—when I didn’t have to carry everything by myself anymore. And since then, that verse has taken on new meaning. Because now I know what it feels like to truly be led to the Rock.

If you’re listening to this and you’re in that place right now—feeling like your strength is gone, like your prayers are going unanswered, like you’re barely holding it together—I want you to hear this:

You were never meant to carry this on your own.

God isn’t waiting for you to prove yourself. He’s not measuring your worth by how strong or productive you are. He’s simply inviting you to come to Him. As you are. Weary, overwhelmed, unsure… and fully loved.

The Scripture I mentioned, Psalm 61:2 is about needing a place to rest, a safe place to lean on and take a break from the storm. It’s saying, “God, I can’t do this. Lead me to You. Be the Rock I can rest on. Be the place where I don’t have to be strong anymore.” And He will.

Let’s pray:

God,

For the one listening who feels like they’re barely making it—

Would You meet them in their exhaustion?

Would You gently lead them to You, the Rock that is higher, stronger, and more faithful than anything they’re facing?

Thank You for seeing every moment they’ve had to push through when no one else noticed.

Thank You for whispering truth when the world demands performance.

Help us trust You—not just in the big things, but in the daily survival.

Lead us when we don’t have the words. Carry us when we don’t have the strength.

And help us rest in the truth that Your grace is not based on how much we can do—but on who You are.

Amen.

If this episode resonated with you—if you’ve ever found yourself at the end of your strength and had to learn how to lean on God—I’d love to hear your story.

Send me a message on Instagram @the_invisibleillnessclub or tag me if you share this episode. You never know who might need to hear that they’re not alone in this.

And if you haven’t already, hit follow on the podcast so you don’t miss what’s coming next. We’re keeping it real here. Always.

Until next time—be gentle with yourself, rest when you need to, and remember: You don’t have to do this on your own anymore.

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